Get ready for Decision-Making 3.0 with Rck_Ppr_Szrs, the all-new, groundbreaking, high-tech, drone-deliverable, dispute-solving iMessage App from Cheerbeard.
Rock, Paper, Scissors was invented by Staples, Inc. in 1978 as part of a failed ad campaign. The goal of the campaign was twofold: to make people think that rocks were common office supplies they ought to purchase, and to divert attention from the negative publicity caused by Staples’ disastrous efforts to start a mail order Sushi-of-the-Month Club. Nowadays, most people barely remember this inauspicious beginning, and Rock, Paper, Scissors has evolved into a powerful tool for resolving disputes between two people or nation-states.
Until recent technological innovations, folks and diplomats had to use their own hands when engaging in Rock, Paper, Scissors-style decision making. The process of contorting one’s hands into strange shapes that barely resemble a rock, a piece of paper, or a pair of scissors was difficult, emotionally draining, and dangerous. Injuries related to Rock, Paper, Scissors peaked in the summer of 1992 and have been on the decline in recent years due to an aggressive response from the CDC, including the multi-million dollar “Just Say No 2 Ro-Sham-Bo” marketing effort that discourages kids under the age of 18 from getting started with Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Now, thanks to your friends at Cheerbeard, anyone, even youths, can use the fully technological Rck_Ppr_Szrs iMessage App to safely play this beloved and infinitely useful game. Instead of attempting complicated hand gymnastics, you play by simply tapping your phone’s screen. You’ll resolve all manner of disputes, such as which movie to attend or whether or not to allow a country into the Eurozone, without even getting off the toilet. Best of all, you’ll never break a hand or die by playing Rck_Ppr_Szrs, unless you play it while driving, in which case you will definitely die.
ALTERNATE (AND SOMEWHAT MORE ACCURATE) HISTORY
WHAT’S WITH THE NAME?
To make "Rock Paper Scissors" harder to pronounce and weirder to look at, we've removed all the vowels and connected the words with underscores. Also, it looks more technological. We even threw a “Z” in there because why not. Our business plan is to be more successful than Flickr by removing more vowels than they did.
If you like Rck_Ppr_Szrs, or even if you don’t, check out these other artisanal apps from Cheerbeard:
Hipster Stuff: https://appstore.com/hipsterstuff
Letter Love: https://appstore.com/letterlove